Learn By Listening

Simpletons only learn the hard way; but the wise learn by listening. Proverbs 21:11 MSG

The leader has to have all the answers.

That’s a leadership myth I used to believe. In fact, it scared me to death and kept me from leading for many years. I thought the only way people would follow is if I had all the answers (and I knew I did not have them).

Funny thing is: that’s exactly opposite of what people want. People want someone who will allow them to give feedback and make other suggestions. Most people won’t follow a know-it-all.

The leadership truth: Someone has to ultimately make the decision. But the wisest decisions are made after listening to others.

4 Steps To Making More Wise Decisions:

1) Surround yourself with people smarter than you – don’t be the smartest person you know. Get people around you that love Jesus, love you, and not afraid to push back.

2) Ask questions – when you’re surrounded with smart people, ask them questions. Pick their brains. That’s what they are there for. They want to be included in the decision-making process.

3) Listen – After you ask questions, actually listen to what they are saying. This falls on the leader. The leader has to be open to learning from others.

Obviously, that is from a team-oriented situation.

4) The greatest person a leader can listen to is the Holy Spirit. Like Perry Noble says:

“Leadership is listening to God and doing what He says.”

There’s no way to make wise decisions without hearing from God. Sometimes He’ll make it clear to us through the Holy Spirit or scripture, but other times He’ll use those around us to help in our decision-making process (as described above). Without consulting Him, we may get lucky every now and then, but usually we end up learning the hard way just like the verse says.

Leaders are learners. And the Bible says we can learn a lot just by listening.  This is definitely something I’m praying over for God to help me and you become a better leader.

Spiritual Gifts And Passion

I used to think those who are most successful are so because they made a choice to be passionate.

I believe passion plays a big part in the equation (and it is a choice) but now I’ve tweaked that idea a little:

The most successful people are those who know their gifts and are passionate about fully utilizing them for God’s Kingdom.

Some of the most frustrated people are those working outside of their giftedness. It’s like fitting a square peg into a round hole. It’s difficult to be passionate about something at which you’re not gifted. It’s tiring. You’ll burn out. It just won’t work.

That’s why knowing your spiritual gifts is so important. If you still haven’t taken the assessment, you can take it here. Carve out about 15 minutes to go through it and learn a lot about yourself and how God has gifted you to serve. Get your results and then get involved using those gifts.

Failure Is Not Fatal (Thoughts From Catalyst)

I really enjoy reading Seth Godin. I’ve written about him before. If you remember, Seth is not a professing believer and his audience is not necessarily the church, but anyone who likes big ideas and challenging leadership principles.

It was a privilege to get to hear him speak at this year’s Catalyst conference. It made me ready to read his latest book, Linchpin, even more. Here’s one (of the many ideas) Seth discussed at the conference.

The first time you bake cupcakes, you follow the recipe. And the cupcakes are good.

The second time, you get better at following the recipe and they turn out really good.

The third time, you might improvise and screw up.

Learning your lesson, you will follow the recipe again and again as closely as you can.

At this point, by the fifth or sixth time, some people improvise successfully and actually learn to bake. In the process they learn this: cupcake failure is not fatal.

That seems so elementary. Of course nothing really bad happens if you try something new but fail on a batch of cupcakes. But in today’s world, leaders can become paralyzed due to fear of failure or more so, as Seth wrote about in his book Tribes, the fear of criticism. That in itself can cause us to stop baking altogether instead of whipping up another batch of cupcakes.

Fear of failure or criticism can keep us from moving forward. We think we’ll get in trouble or replaced if we mess up. But the irony of it is we won’t do anything, which will…get us in trouble or replaced.

The question to ask yourself in these moments is this:

Which is worse: I do something and fail or I do absolutely nothing at all?

99.999% of the time the second option is much worse.

Here’s the thing (and I’m talking to myself here): we have a great responsibility. Eternity is in the balance. Souls are at stake. But it’s not up to us to save them. That falls on the Holy Spirit. We just have to be obedient. So when you fail, take what you learned from that attempt and improve on the next one. Be prepared to fail in order to succeed. Thomas Edison has been credited with this quote:

“I have not failed 10,000 times. I have successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.”

The only real failure is doing nothing at all.

Know Who You Are (Thoughts From Catalyst)

At  Catalyst, we were fortunate to hear Beth Moore speak. Now, I’ll be honest: I’ve never read Beth Moore or even heard her speak on television. I didn’t really know anything about her except that she writes a lot of books for women and they seem to like her. But I was pretty skeptical about what she was going to share that would apply to me. Boy, was I surprised. Her talk was definitely a highlight for me. God used her to speak to me on fear and insecurity.

There’s so much I could write about from her talk (and I’ll probably write more later) but the one thing I want to hit on now from her talk that made an impact on me was this:

“Know who you are and know who you are not. Know who you want to be when all is said and done.”

1. Know who you are

Know what you stand for and that God created you for a purpose. He has a calling for you and filled with you with the potential to fullfil that mission for your life. Through Him, it’s all possible (Philippines 4:13).

2. Know who you are not

I’m bad for trying to measure up to other people. I’m sure I’m the only one that does that but I try to emulate what others are doing in their walk with Christ. I hear about people who can pray for an hour, I try to do that. Others say you should journal everyday, I try that. Meanwhile, I have not just talked with God about how He wants to converse with me. I’m starting to figure out that a very important part of our walk with Christ is knowing who He has created us not to be. We can usually accomplish more and be more effective by doing less.

I’m not called to walk with Christ like someone else, I’m called to have a personal relationship with Him. He created me. He knows how I’m wired so I need to be me and not someone else.

3. Know who you want to be when all is said and done

It’s like a roadtrip. It takes turn after turn to get to the final destination. You can’t get from Martinsville to Miami without following directions and making multiple turns. And each turn leads to the next. That’s what following Christ is all about: following His directions to a final destination. And the trip goes much smoother when we follow the directions as they are laid out. The directions don’t always keep you from traffic jams or rough roads, but they will lead you where you want to go if you follow them. It’s when we miss a turn or follow our own hunches that things start to get tricky.

The legacy we leave is determined now. The decisions we make now are writing our story, good or bad. And it’s important that we decide how we want the ending to be ahead of time and make decisions  today that will get us to that destination.

Evaluation (Thoughts From Catalyst)

Daniel Pink, a business leader and author, spoke on Thursday about motivation. And he gave some great insight to what drives us or gives us the passion to keep going.

Most of his talk was geared toward the business world but I believe his thoughts can apply to the church as an organization and certainly helps us create our staff culture at CrossPoint. There’s so much good stuff from his talk that I still need to process and work through. And I’m eager to read his book Drive.

But there was one thought I want to work through: I believe evaluation breeds excellence. And Daniel wrapped up his talk with this idea:

“At the end of the day, ask yourself this: ‘was I better today than yesterday?’ When the answer is yes, you can celebrate your accomplishment and roll that momentum into tomorrow. When the answer is no, it gives you a drive to get up in the morning and have a better tomorrow.”

Have you ever asked yourself that? What are you doing today to improve, little by little, over yesterday? What will you read today? What prayers will you pray? Who will you meet? What conversations will you have? What will you practice that will allow you to improve on yesterday’s achievements or failures?

Start asking yourself this question at the end of your day and I believe it will jump start your personal growth in your job, with your family and, most of all, your walk with Christ.

Appetites (Thoughts From Catalyst)

Last week, the CrossPoint staff attended the Catalyst Conference in Atlanta. It’s an annual conference where more than 12,000 leaders come together for 2 days to hear some of the best leaders speak. There’s so much to process and I’m still going over my notes and even purchased audio of the talks so I can listen again to catch the things I missed the first time.

But over the next few days, I’ll be sharing some of the quotes/thoughts that I’ve been wrestling with since the conference.

The first thought that really stuck with me was from the first session with Andy Stanley. Andy, referencing the story of Jacob and Esau from Genesis 25,talked about appetites that can never be satisfied. Those he listed were:

• Progress
• Responsibility
• Respect
• Win
• Growth
• Fame
• Achievement
• To Be Envied

Andy talked about some or all of these desires can control leaders. These desires are natural and God-created but sin distorted them. Let’s face it: we’re human, so once sin entered the picture we crave these because we’re always looking for the bigger and better.

But what really stuck with me was this idea:

“We’d all sale our birthright for the right bowl of stew. What’s your ‘bowl of stew’?”

Andy’s challenge to all of us:

1. Reframe – Look at it from God’s viewpoint and in light of what He’s called you to do. Ask: “Ten years from now, I want to be…” Let that guide your decision-making now.

2. Refrain -Do what’s wise and control your desires. Don’t let them control you.

Motivation

Great quote from John Maxwell:

“The whole idea of motivation is a trap. Forget motivation. Just do it. Exercise, lose weight, whatever. Do it without motivation. And then, guess what? After you start doing the thing, that’s when the motivation comes and makes it easy for you to keep on doing it.”

So true! If motivation came natural, we wouldn’t become overweight, or in debt, or spiritually cold.

What are you putting off for when you feel “motivated”? Start it today and motivation will come.

The Status Quo

I’m reading an awesome book titled Tribes by Seth Godin. Seth is a great mind on marketing and business. Check out this portion from the book:

The Difference Between Average And Mediocre

Management often works to maintain the status quo, to deliver average products to average people. In a stable environment, this is exactly the right strategy. Build reliability and predictability, cut costs, and make a profit.

Traditional marketing understands this. The most stable thing to do is push a standard product to a standard audience and succeed with discounts or distribution.

But for tribes, average means mediocre. Not worth seeking out. Boring.

Life’s too short to fight the forces of change. Life’s too short to hate what you do all day. Life’s way too short to make mediocre stuff. And almost everything that’s standard is now viewed as mediocre.

Is there a difference between average and mediocre? Not so much. Average stuff is taken for granted, not talked about, and certainly not sought out.

The end result is that many people (many really good people) spend all day trying to defend what they do, trying to sell what they’ve always sold, and trying to prevent their organizations from being devoured by the forces of the new. It must be wearing them out. Defending mediocrity is exhausting.

Seth is not a believer as far as I know. Obviously, he is writing to business leaders but he could just as easily be writing to church leaders. For most unchurched or dechurched, they see church as irrelevant and not important to their life. Boring. And many churches are stuck in their ways and have allowed themselves to become mediocre because of an unwillingness to change their methods (not the message) to the current culture.

God has blessed us at CrossPoint. To see the numbers of people we have coming each week and the great stories of life change that He’s doing through the ministry. And that’s awesome! But there’s two takeaways from Seth’s idea:

1. CrossPoint could very well become a mediocre church if we get settled into how we do things. As I’ve heard Perry Noble say, “today’s contemporary church can be tomorrow’s traditional church”. We always have to evaluate, grow and above all seek God’s leadership for CrossPoint. Sooner or later, leaders will come face to face with the need to change things they originally set in place. That’s when you have to decide if it’s about reaching people or “doing things the way we’ve always done them”.
2. While we’re seeing great things at CrossPoint, there’s still a great majority who still view church, any church, as irrelevant. So while we think CrossPoint is great, there’s still a world out there with hurting people who need Jesus. We need to do whatever we can to reach them.

Leadership = Influence

Leadership is influence and nothing else – John Maxwell

Some have tried to make it about a title or position. I’ve even heard people say “If you give me the title/authority, then people will see me as the leader.”

A title or position will not earn or “buy” influence. It will only buy you time to learn leadership skills. Leaders get things done. They don’t wait for a title or position to produce. Show yourself worthy to be followed first by putting in the effort up front.  Trust and influence come later because they have to be earned. This will produce followers, which is the true test of a leader. There’s an old saying: “He who think he leads but no one follows is just taking a walk”.

The disciples battled with this thought. They argued who would be the greatest among them. Jesus put an end to that discussion real quick when he said:

“If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” Mark 9:35 NIV

Jesus modeled being a servant leader. Great leaders understand this principle. First you have to be a servant in the small things and if God allows He will move you up.

Because of Jesus’ model, the disciples grew in influence. They took the Gospel to the world and the message continues over 2000 years later.

Rules and Responsibility

God has blessed me with a good friendship with Justin Land, Assistant Worship Director at NewSpring Church. He came in to help with our first band audtions and I was able to connect with him for breakfast last week while in town for the Unleash Conference. He’s a great leader who never hesitates to challenge and encourage me.

This statement he made really made an impact with me:

Rules are rarely needed when responsibilities are clearly stated.

That was huge to me! I’ve never wanted to dictate to those following, but I knew there had to be clear expectations laid out but I’ve been trying to figure out how those ideas work together. And as Justin unpacked the statement and how it applies to NewSpring, it became much clearer to me.

People want to know what’s expected of them. If those few expectations are clearly presented, the “what”…and if the vision is always clearly stated, the “why”…then the “how” and “when” is more up to the person. Leaders are called to empower others to do ministry…not create clones of themselves. An organization or church will never grow that way.

This morning while thinking on this statement it came to me where this idea originates from: the greatest leader of all time…Jesus (surprise, surprise, right?) All good things come from Him. But when Jesus was doing ministry, an expert at the law asked Jesus which is the greatest commandment in the law. Now obviously they were trying to trip him up because they took all 613 serious. Notice Jesus’ answer:

” ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22:37-40 NIV

Jesus summed up 613 rules into 2 clear expectations. Love God and love others. Simple. That’s what is expected of Christ followers, all the other stuff really doesn’t matter if we miss those two things.